What the Hell Happened to Britney?

Alright, let me start by saying that I am a huge Britney fan.  Huge.  Her music is fun, but more than that I think she has that special something that makes you want to watch her.  At least she used to.  The woman was on fire back in the day!  You just couldn’t take your eyes off her.  She had this passion and drive.  She had spark.  It didn’t matter if you were watching one of her videos, a performance, an interview, a photo session or paparazzi pictures of her at Starbucks.  She seemed to come alive onstage or in front of a camera.  And the dancing – that girl had to have been one of the most amazing dancers ever.  The moves were amazing and her energy, passion and spark were unbeatable.  Britney brought it – every single time.

Exhibit A: Amazing Performance by Britney:

Exhibit B:  One of Britney’s Most Iconic Performances of all Time:

She is nothing short of amazing to watch.  Tight dancing and she is clearly into it!  And then along came Kevin Federline.  I blame him.  He broke Britney.  The guy is clearly a flailing idiot.  He is a greasy nobody who by nothing short of a miracle, Britney Spears fell in love with.  I think that it has to be lonely at the top and she was looking for someone to love her unconditionally.  I get it.  So the guy had it made and managed to screw it all up.  And Britney took a nosedive.  Damn you Federline!

I'm putting it out there! I blame you Federline!

The same spark that made her famous seemed to drive her into a dark place of madness.  She has made a big comeback.  I will give her that.  But she is not the Britney that she used to be.  The fire is gone.  The songs are still catchy and fun, but she just doesn’t have ‘it’ anymore, that special sparkle that you just couldn’t take your eyes off of.  Its like she is going through the motions. The dancing isn’t what it used to be nor is the spark.  What is amazing is the support that she has had in this comeback.  The world wanted her to be back on top.  They wanted Britney back from her meltdown.  Its unprecedented.  But the reality is that the old Britney is no where to be seen.  Its not so easy to find award show performances of our Britney these days, because she doesn’t do them anymore.

Exhibit C:  A Now Ho Hum Britney Performance:

See!!  Its just not there!!  Lots of walking around the stage and a few easy moves and that is it.  I never cared that the girl lip synced.  She was a performer.  There is no way she could pull off those amazing dance numbers and sing.  However without the amazing dance numbers….  If the Circus album had been her first and she served up these sorry performances, she would never have gotten far.

So what the hell?  Where is the Britney that could wow us like crazy?  I am sure that the never-ending Daddy conservator thing, while at first helpful, is taking a toll on her spirit.  Raising two children has likely pulled her focus away from her career and she is no longer willing to put in the necessary hours at the dance studio.  But ultimately, I think she is being drugged for whatever mental disorder is plaguing her.  Hence the dull, lifeless Britney that we see today.

On top of it she regularly looks like hell, has something against bras and appears to be dressing in the dark.  Her taste.  Dear God her taste.  I am amazed that Stacey and Clinton from What Not to Wear haven’t swooped in with a much needed intervention.  Did she fire her stylist?  Can’t her Daddy Conservator force her to get one?  Britney I URGE you to get a stylist!!  ASAP!  You have the cash – just not the taste.

Britney in D &G: Then and Now

OK.  The first see through D&G Dress – awesome.  Sexy, young and has some taste.  The most recent D&G dress – nothing short of a fashion shit show.  Honestly.  All I can say is wow.  And not in a good way.  How could her boyfriend not have mentioned to her that she looked like absolute hell (other than her hair and make-up.  Obviously she still employs people for that).  Its fashion road kill!

I still love Britney in spite of it all, but I am hoping and praying that we get the girl with spirit, spark and fire in her eyes back one fine day.  I want you to bring it Britney – every single time.

Britney Bringing it!

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