ANTM Cycle 14: America’s Next Top Jumpsuit?
If I get my way on this season of ANTM, the remaining contestants will all show up to panel in jumpsuits. Maybe Nigel and Leon can sport ’em too, promoting the under-represented male jumpsuit. Is Tyra just to lazy to find matching separates or is someone paying her big bucks to promote the retro jumpsuit? There has to be a reason. There just has to be! Other than the fact that she is getting a bunch of press by wearing jumpsuit after jumpsuit leading the world to ask the question: WHY???? And the fashion people out there are calling it a trend. Really? Is anyone out there just dying for a jumpsuit collection of their very own? I shake my head in utter confusion. Wow. Just wow. If this abomination is really a trend, I urge my readers to buck it. URGE! Don’t get sucked into the jumpsuit! Just don’t do it!
Alright enough about those ever so distracting jump suits. Its time for my own little critique of this weeks ‘Cover Girl’ shoot (Cause once again, its my blog):
1. Best Photo at No Shame Baby: Krista
This is one beautiful woman and she took a stunning beauty shot. If I thought for one second that Cover Girl could make me look like this, I would buy it. Her skin is just so stunning. This is the best photo of the week in my opinion. It looks like a real ‘Cover Girl’ ad. They should book her immediately. The judges and the jumpsuit gave her No. 2.
2. Runner-up: Angelea
She won best photo on the show, and I can see why. This girl talks like a trucker and often resembles a serious drag queen, but she can take a picture and this one is really great. How this trucker can look so sophisticated in pictures I’ll never know. Perhaps the judges were as shocked as I am by this miracle and handed her the win.
Portraying and Artist, Anslee did a good job this week. I like the sort of knowing smirk and really, the picson this episode were not so great for several of the girls making this one stand out. The judges and the jumpsuit also approved.
Portraying a club girl, Jessica produced a shot that was perhaps a little lower in quality compared to past shoots, but I don’t think that it was as bad as the judges and jumpsuit claimed. They hated it. They though she looked a bit stunned. I think this one fits the Cover Girl bill.
The judges and jumpsuit loved this photo other than they think that Raina has lost her neck (the neck has replaced smizing this season apparently). I don’t like this photo at all. I don’t like the way Raina was styled – she is beautiful and this shot doesn’t show it. And if anyone looks a little stunned on this shoot, its Raina.
Portraying an ‘Upper East Sider’, the judges really liked this shot. I think they went out back and smoked crack before viewing this shot. It is terrible! What is up with that strange sort of smirk on her face. Not Good. Not even a little bit good. The judges chose this nasty shot over Jessica’s. Seriously, I think those jumpsuits are affecting Tyra’s brain. Lest we forget that it is Tyra and her jumpsuits that choose the girls ‘Best Shots’. Crack and jumpsuits obviously don’t mix!
Though she has performed well in front of the camera in the past, Alashia’s photo was just plain boring this episode. The judges and jumpsuit hated it too. To offset this boring shot Alashia brought on her crazy full force. Can anyone say ‘Anger Management’? She is a whack job! Judge Andre said he wouldn’t invite her to his house with this shot. For fear of her loosing it and screaming like a banshee, I wouldn’t invite her at all!
And lastly there is poor Brenda who finally got eliminated this week with this terrible shot. I’m not sure that it is at all her fault. The judges said it looked contrived. Which it does but I don’t think that is Brenda’s fault. I think it is the bad styling. And the fact that Brenda never stood a chance with that crap ass make over they gave her. I don’t blame her for bitching about it.
Bye, bye Brenda. Hello next weeks jumpsuit!