Christina Aguilera apparently “flubbed” during her performance of the National Anthem at the Superbowl. Some people were both shocked and offended by her error in the lyrics. And they should be. The reality is that Christina Aguilera is a terrorist. Her so-called “flub” actually revealed her political and ideological leanings. It was far more than just an error: It was downright unpatriotic and anti-American – it was terrorism. And it all took place on the holy day of Superbowl Sunday. I am willing to bet 10-1 that she knows exactly where Bin Laden is hiding and has her own personal cave in the mountains of Afghanistan. Yes, my fellow Americans, she used our very own anthem against us, lowering our morale and the morale of our troops.
So if you were offended by Christina’s version of our anthem – you should be. She is the reason that we have to take our shoes off at airport security, can’t carry liquids in our carry on baggage and are forced to live at the mercy of our government while they take advantage of our worst fears. Some say error. I say terrorism.
I also say that this is all a crock of BS and if you were offended by Christina’s errors in her performance, you need to get out a little more. The only offensive part of her performance was that hideous drag-queen make-up that she insists upon wearing paired with brutally over-processed hair. On second thought, that just might be terrorism… Up the alert level!
My God I think that pigs are flying and that hell has indeed frozen over! Britney Spears stepped out yesterday looking good! Well looking good for Britney Spears anyway. She ditched some of her more heinous footwear for a chic pair of boots and even wore a bra! She matches and her hair is done. What the hell could possibly be going on?! However being true to herself, she had to throw down some tacky action with a lace neck piece thing. Hey, it just wouldn’t be Britney without it. Regardless, compared to her usual fashion choices, this is a huge step up. I heart Britney looking good!
I have got to take a stand for Jennifer Aniston and since this is my blog, I am going to do it! Though her marriage to Brad Pitt ended five long years ago, the media treats Jennifer like this pathetic creature that spends her days and nights pining for her lost husband, stolen away in the night by the irresistible vixen, Angelina Jolie.
If the media aren’t claiming that she is woefully waiting for him to come back, then she and Brad are secretly ‘Hooking Up’. There was some special photo session of her beautiful home recently and tabloids took the opportunity to tag out areas where “Jen cries for Brad”.
Lets face it people, they broke up fiver years ago. Do you sit around and pine for the ex guy or girl you had five years ago? When I think about the guy I was with back then, all I can think is thank dear God I came to my senses! And I am sure that a beautiful, smart and talented woman like Jenn doesn’t lie around her house moping either. Are Brad and Jenn hooking up? Doubt it! And does Jenn harbor a deep dark hatred for Angelina Jolie? Doubt that too! Nobody likes to see their man move on quickly and easily, but five years down the road and half a dozen children later, do you think that Jenn really cares?
Ms. Aniston has handled her divorce and its never ending aftermath like a lady. She has never spoken publicly about it. One would think that would mean that all these years later, the press would just leave her the f**k alone. But it doesn’t. Instead it is assumed that she spends her days pining away for the one she lost. Maybe it would have been better if she just did a giant, tacky tell all interview with Howard Stern?
Besides the passage of time and the fact that this woman has her own life, its time to face reality. Brad Pitt, quite frankly, has slipped a little bit. Lets recap in pictures:
Exhibit A: Man Candy
Now that is one fine piece of man! And yes he was voted sexiest man alive by People magazine like 50000 times, because he unquestionably was.
Exhibit B: You Go On With Yo Bad Self and Fine Piece O Man Meat!
Yes, this is what Brad looked like when Jenn had him. Fine, fine and more fine. A beautiful couple.
Exhibit C: The Slide.
That beard is nasty. Just plain nasty. There might be squirrels nesting in there. It ain’t good people.
Exhibit D: What Angeline Got:
And there you have it folks, the downhill, bearded slide of Brad Pitt, formerly known as the Sexiest Man Alive. So is Jenn all down and out wishing that Brad would leave the temptress Angelina and their brood behind? Not a chance. Every time she sees that nasty beard, I am sure she is patting herself on the back thinking about how she dodged a bullet. The bullet being that nasty ass beard!
So Media and Tabloids – Listen Up! Shes Just Not That Into Him!
Oh I bet that Candies hearts Britney Spears. The ultimate celebrity is pimping out their line. Its just too bad that they didn’t bother to do much with the power that is Britney Spears. Really – Britney, Bikini and Teddy Bear? The woman is 28 years old now people. Not 17. The days of sweet little virgin Britney the vixen are long over. She has been a bit of a queen in terms of her crap ass style these days and the Candies campaign starring Miss. Britney have only enhanced that image. I don’t care how many famous photographers they brought in to shoot her. It is butt ass tacky and has to be targeting girls under the age of 20. The whole campaign seems tacky and juvenile to say the least. A star of Britney’s caliber could do better. Should do better. They didn’t work this celebrity to the limit to say the least. This ad campaign is horrid! I really hate it. The sheer level of pink hurts my eyes. You have a beautiful star and these are the artistic choice that you make? WTF?
Get out your sunglasses and take a look at what they did to Britney:
Kate, I wish you were a better dancer for your sake and for ours. I wanted you to succeed at this, I really did. But sister – You CANNOT dance. Just Cannot. Its the worst and most painful thing that I have ever seen. I beg you – the public to put her and us out of our misery by not voting for her. She has children that have to live with this humiliation. I know she is doing this to make a living for them, but there has to a better, less painful way. HAS TO BE. She could take up being one of those phone sex girls or something. Anything but this. ANYTHING.
This week, sadly, was kind of an improvement over the last. Which really isn’t saying much. The judges gave her points for having the guts to come out on the stage for a third week in a row and humiliate herself. She kind of managed to follow the steps this week. And I mean steps, because they were literally steps and not dancing. And what the hell was up with that wardrobe, hair and make-up? Seriously. She has a better body than that corset thing revealed. She just looked weird. She kind of looked like a barrel in a skirt. Alright – she looked like a drag queen. I’ll just say it. A low end drag queen at best. It is just so sad. They brought in an acting coach this week to try to help Kate “get in touch with her emotions”. Yeah..cause thats the problem rather than the fact that she has to be the most unnatural dancer on the face of the planet. Wow. All I can say is wow.
Check it out:
Britney, I love you to pieces, I really do. As always, I urge you to get yourself a stylist and today, well today I beg you to go bra shopping. BEG! We have all seen more of your unbridled girls than any of us ever wanted to. What are the benefits of wearing a bra in public you ask? Well, to start it helps with the overall look. No one needs to see visible nip outlines. It also hold them up where they belong. You are 28 and have had 2 kids. The girls look pretty good I must say (I know because I have seen them in their braless glory too many times), but I promise that a WELL FITTING bra will give you that little extra lift you need!
If you know full well that you will be photographed for the world to see – don’t let the girls roam free!