Another weeks goes by on ANTM and you guessed it – Tyra busted out another jumpsuit. Ms. Jumpsuit sent the girls to New Zealand this week sending the girls on go sees and then set them up for a photo shoot with the very sexy Nigel Barker. This is how it all shook down and since this is indeed my blog – I will show you how No Shame Baby saw things this week:
1. No Shame Baby’s Top Pick: Raina
This is nothing short of a gorgeous picture and Ms. Raina is working it! She looks great and so does the dress. I LOVE this picture and so did the judges, but only chose it as the third best. It should have been yours last night Raina! You was robbed! I think Tyra and company once again stepped out to smoke a little somethin’, somethin’.
She hasn’t been whipping it out until this week where she worked that dress, her face and that sheep to take the number 2 spot. And rightfully so. Both the Judges and No Shame baby agree!
This is a good picture, but I just don’t love it. The dress looks alright but the look on her face is not good. She just doesn’t look like the beautiful girl that she is. I have a hard time believing that this was the best picture of Krista’s film. Of course Ms. Jumpsuit herself picked it. The judges selected it as the number 1 photo of the week. My only explanation for this is that the judges have seriously debilitating crack addictions….which would also explain Tyra’s jumpsuits.
I have to agree with Nigel – this shot was fantastic except for Jessica’s face which is void of emotion. This crime landed Jessica in the bottom 2 – I think a little undeserved. Its not a great shot but….other than her face, it is very nice. Though a trip to the bottom 2 might just put Jessica back on track.
The judges hated this one and I must say that it was not Alasia’s best shoot for sure. However, I kind of like the picture. It looks kind of mysterious, like she is some kind of female wizard roaming the hills. But I can see why it wasn’t well loved and Alasia hasn’t been delivering the past few weeks so…they sent her home.
The do-no-wrong drag queen missed the mark this week. Really missed the mark. Its just not a good picture in any regard. Well, the sheep is cute….. The judges didn’t like it either and Angelea was the third last photo to be chosen. I think that was too kind and that the Drag Queen should have been taken down a notch by being put in the bottom 2. Cause this is bad!
And that is the way ANTM shook down this week folks.
My God I think that pigs are flying and that hell has indeed frozen over! Britney Spears stepped out yesterday looking good! Well looking good for Britney Spears anyway. She ditched some of her more heinous footwear for a chic pair of boots and even wore a bra! She matches and her hair is done. What the hell could possibly be going on?! However being true to herself, she had to throw down some tacky action with a lace neck piece thing. Hey, it just wouldn’t be Britney without it. Regardless, compared to her usual fashion choices, this is a huge step up. I heart Britney looking good!
If I get my way on this season of ANTM, the remaining contestants will all show up to panel in jumpsuits. Maybe Nigel and Leon can sport ’em too, promoting the under-represented male jumpsuit. Is Tyra just to lazy to find matching separates or is someone paying her big bucks to promote the retro jumpsuit? There has to be a reason. There just has to be! Other than the fact that she is getting a bunch of press by wearing jumpsuit after jumpsuit leading the world to ask the question: WHY???? And the fashion people out there are calling it a trend. Really? Is anyone out there just dying for a jumpsuit collection of their very own? I shake my head in utter confusion. Wow. Just wow. If this abomination is really a trend, I urge my readers to buck it. URGE! Don’t get sucked into the jumpsuit! Just don’t do it!
Alright enough about those ever so distracting jump suits. Its time for my own little critique of this weeks ‘Cover Girl’ shoot (Cause once again, its my blog):
1. Best Photo at No Shame Baby: Krista
This is one beautiful woman and she took a stunning beauty shot. If I thought for one second that Cover Girl could make me look like this, I would buy it. Her skin is just so stunning. This is the best photo of the week in my opinion. It looks like a real ‘Cover Girl’ ad. They should book her immediately. The judges and the jumpsuit gave her No. 2.
2. Runner-up: Angelea
She won best photo on the show, and I can see why. This girl talks like a trucker and often resembles a serious drag queen, but she can take a picture and this one is really great. How this trucker can look so sophisticated in pictures I’ll never know. Perhaps the judges were as shocked as I am by this miracle and handed her the win.
Portraying and Artist, Anslee did a good job this week. I like the sort of knowing smirk and really, the picson this episode were not so great for several of the girls making this one stand out. The judges and the jumpsuit also approved.
Portraying a club girl, Jessica produced a shot that was perhaps a little lower in quality compared to past shoots, but I don’t think that it was as bad as the judges and jumpsuit claimed. They hated it. They though she looked a bit stunned. I think this one fits the Cover Girl bill.
The judges and jumpsuit loved this photo other than they think that Raina has lost her neck (the neck has replaced smizing this season apparently). I don’t like this photo at all. I don’t like the way Raina was styled – she is beautiful and this shot doesn’t show it. And if anyone looks a little stunned on this shoot, its Raina.
Portraying an ‘Upper East Sider’, the judges really liked this shot. I think they went out back and smoked crack before viewing this shot. It is terrible! What is up with that strange sort of smirk on her face. Not Good. Not even a little bit good. The judges chose this nasty shot over Jessica’s. Seriously, I think those jumpsuits are affecting Tyra’s brain. Lest we forget that it is Tyra and her jumpsuits that choose the girls ‘Best Shots’. Crack and jumpsuits obviously don’t mix!
Though she has performed well in front of the camera in the past, Alashia’s photo was just plain boring this episode. The judges and jumpsuit hated it too. To offset this boring shot Alashia brought on her crazy full force. Can anyone say ‘Anger Management’? She is a whack job! Judge Andre said he wouldn’t invite her to his house with this shot. For fear of her loosing it and screaming like a banshee, I wouldn’t invite her at all!
And lastly there is poor Brenda who finally got eliminated this week with this terrible shot. I’m not sure that it is at all her fault. The judges said it looked contrived. Which it does but I don’t think that is Brenda’s fault. I think it is the bad styling. And the fact that Brenda never stood a chance with that crap ass make over they gave her. I don’t blame her for bitching about it.
Bye, bye Brenda. Hello next weeks jumpsuit!
We might be experiencing a new celebrity trend folks: Celebrities Au Natural. Shock and awe! No retouching from their photoshop friends and no makeup. In a little over a week we have seen Jessica Simpson do the cover of Marie Claire without a lick of makeup:
Shortly there after we saw Ms. Britney Spears release her pre-photo shopped shots from her Candies adds to show what real women actually look like (and her ‘real’ bod would make any woman happy!)
And of course there is the most recent celeb to take it all off with no retouching: Kim Kardashian. Theses are all exceptionally beautiful women. But none the less it is nice to know that they have flaws. While we have all known that celebrity photos are retouched, it is something to see these women in their natural glory. One begins to wonder if she is the only woman with cellulite on the back of her thighs….and it turns out Britney has it too! While I don’t revel in other women’s physical flaws, I do somehow take comfort in it. It is time that real women get to see real celebrity women. No kidding women have such a flawed body image with all the fake body perfection we are bombarded with every day. Will it become a thing of the past with this very cool trend? I say ladies, I heart your flaws! I heart real women!
Well its in full force people: America’s Next Top Model. Its on!! It really is my guilty pleasure. I look forward to it and watch faithfully. I have to admit that up until this season (though it has just started so I am hoping to Christ that I am not speaking to soon!), the cheese fest that has been ANTM drove me crazy. Really, I’m in it for the fashion, photo shoots and photography. I know it sounds like reading playboy for the articles, but its true. I hate the cheesy challenges they force down the throats of those poor girls. Particularly when it is Tyra leading the challenge. She has to be one of the most annoying beautiful people on tv. When she came out a couple seasons ago in a cape and was some kind of “smize” (smile with your eyes) superhero I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
There has been less about the whole “Smize” thing this season. With the addition of new judge Andre Leon Talley it is all about the “dreckitude”. Does anyone know what the hell he is talking about? What the hell is that? I don’t think that it has been defined. I am not sure what Tyra is attempting to do this season and while I am thankful that we have less of her annoying role play events, she is all about the jumpsuits. Yes Jumpsuits. She isn’t jumping out of a plane nor is it 1972. But no one has informed Tyra of this and she is wearing a new one each week. I guess it a game of give and take: Tyra Cheese or Tyra Jumpsuits. I’ll take jumpsuits.
So far it is the usual ANTM – people get eliminated, who cares? Its not like any of these poor tortured girls get any work after they bust their humps for Tyra. And thankfully we haven’t had to endure a video Cover Girl Commercial. Those things are just gut wrenching. But I am sure it is coming!
The highlight of the season came this week when the girls got to grope Nigel Barker. He played the role of shy male model that the girls had to charm. They left the girls more or less trapped and alone with Nigel in a gondola and then expressed surprise when they flirted with and molested him shamelessly!
Frankly, if left alone anywhere with Nigel, he wouldn’t have escaped with even one garment of clothing. The man is HOT and another reason to indulge in ANTM! And since he is so damn hot I am going to shamelessly include another picture of him cause its my blog!
And Cycle 14 continues….
I have got to take a stand for Jennifer Aniston and since this is my blog, I am going to do it! Though her marriage to Brad Pitt ended five long years ago, the media treats Jennifer like this pathetic creature that spends her days and nights pining for her lost husband, stolen away in the night by the irresistible vixen, Angelina Jolie.
If the media aren’t claiming that she is woefully waiting for him to come back, then she and Brad are secretly ‘Hooking Up’. There was some special photo session of her beautiful home recently and tabloids took the opportunity to tag out areas where “Jen cries for Brad”.
Lets face it people, they broke up fiver years ago. Do you sit around and pine for the ex guy or girl you had five years ago? When I think about the guy I was with back then, all I can think is thank dear God I came to my senses! And I am sure that a beautiful, smart and talented woman like Jenn doesn’t lie around her house moping either. Are Brad and Jenn hooking up? Doubt it! And does Jenn harbor a deep dark hatred for Angelina Jolie? Doubt that too! Nobody likes to see their man move on quickly and easily, but five years down the road and half a dozen children later, do you think that Jenn really cares?
Ms. Aniston has handled her divorce and its never ending aftermath like a lady. She has never spoken publicly about it. One would think that would mean that all these years later, the press would just leave her the f**k alone. But it doesn’t. Instead it is assumed that she spends her days pining away for the one she lost. Maybe it would have been better if she just did a giant, tacky tell all interview with Howard Stern?
Besides the passage of time and the fact that this woman has her own life, its time to face reality. Brad Pitt, quite frankly, has slipped a little bit. Lets recap in pictures:
Exhibit A: Man Candy
Now that is one fine piece of man! And yes he was voted sexiest man alive by People magazine like 50000 times, because he unquestionably was.
Exhibit B: You Go On With Yo Bad Self and Fine Piece O Man Meat!
Yes, this is what Brad looked like when Jenn had him. Fine, fine and more fine. A beautiful couple.
Exhibit C: The Slide.
That beard is nasty. Just plain nasty. There might be squirrels nesting in there. It ain’t good people.
Exhibit D: What Angeline Got:
And there you have it folks, the downhill, bearded slide of Brad Pitt, formerly known as the Sexiest Man Alive. So is Jenn all down and out wishing that Brad would leave the temptress Angelina and their brood behind? Not a chance. Every time she sees that nasty beard, I am sure she is patting herself on the back thinking about how she dodged a bullet. The bullet being that nasty ass beard!
So Media and Tabloids – Listen Up! Shes Just Not That Into Him!
Oh I bet that Candies hearts Britney Spears. The ultimate celebrity is pimping out their line. Its just too bad that they didn’t bother to do much with the power that is Britney Spears. Really – Britney, Bikini and Teddy Bear? The woman is 28 years old now people. Not 17. The days of sweet little virgin Britney the vixen are long over. She has been a bit of a queen in terms of her crap ass style these days and the Candies campaign starring Miss. Britney have only enhanced that image. I don’t care how many famous photographers they brought in to shoot her. It is butt ass tacky and has to be targeting girls under the age of 20. The whole campaign seems tacky and juvenile to say the least. A star of Britney’s caliber could do better. Should do better. They didn’t work this celebrity to the limit to say the least. This ad campaign is horrid! I really hate it. The sheer level of pink hurts my eyes. You have a beautiful star and these are the artistic choice that you make? WTF?
Get out your sunglasses and take a look at what they did to Britney: